Baby Buy Sell Swap

Been a bit slack with posts at the moment because Abel's teething troubles have gone from bad to worse and has been a bit difficult to live with, I've been up several times a night etc. so have been really tired. Not to mention a bit blank minded with what to actually blog about.

Recently I've had an internal conflict between making money and sticking it to the man with regard to second hand baby clothes. As Abel is now 4 and a half months a rather large pile of baby clothes which no longer fit him has been inevitably mounting. I'm faced with two options:

Option 1: Ebay single items off making a profit but in the long run will be more time consuming, more effort and Ebay grows ever more powerful in their bid (lol) to take over the world.

Option 2: Stick it to the Ebay man by offering the clothes in sized bundles on Facebook local buy, sell, swap groups ultimately less effort and less money but I gain a wholesome glow.

So what should I do? Answers on a postcard ...or just below.  

Teething Trouble

Happy Valentine's day to you all! Abel made his dad and nanny a card at baby group yesterday - a mass of PVA glue, glitter and feathers piled on red card!

Last Saturday as my mum was holding Abel whilst he was crying, I was sat opposite and noticed two bottom front teeth! I was amazed as they were massive! Taking a picture of them though is difficult so I've included a stock picture of what they kinda look like.

He also has his third set of vaccinations on Wednesday which has made him an unhappy chappy. It's back to being up three times a night but my body is now past caring, I've learnt to live without a full night's sleep. It, like a lot of things, is just part of the baby deal.

In the mean time I'm keeping my beady eye on a blog called Free Our Kids a blog in which a mum pledges to spend as little as possible on her two children. Her rule for the year is that she will only make 12 purchases for the whole year (one per month) not only that but 6 of these 12 purchases have to be second hand from a charity shop or swap direct with another family (in other words not from Ebay) this is to cut the middle man out and ensure all the money goes into a deserving pocket.

I'm intrigued. After browsing her posts I've already learned how to make my own dummy clip using a hair clip and ribbon as shown:

 

#diybaby could catch on!

Real Nappy Week

Okay I know I said I was going to be blogging more but that was before my computer once again broke down. Boooo! So after no blogging for a while I decided to take over the other computer in the house for a bit whilst I had some spare time (Abel is currently sleeping).

Right now it's Real Nappy Week meaning just about every brand and online outlet of real/cloth nappies are having daily competitions which seem to be fueled by www.reusablenappyassociation.com and www.goreal.org.uk

Some of you may remember when I was pregnant I was weighing up the pros and cons of real nappies vs disposable a few months back on this blog. Nearly four months of nappy changing adventures later I have now fallen into a pretty regular routine with it which is to only use disposables when out and about and one for night time. I've done some number crunching and this, in the long run, means I'll be saving a bare minimum of £200 from birth to potty and that really is the bare minimum. This includes the energy bills, the various deals around for both disposable and washable nappies - everything.

I know some people would argue that the extra effort you have to put in to washing the nappies would surely not be worth it but I'm honestly not washing all that much. I do maybe four baby clothes and muslin loads a week. I have ten Bambooty Easy Dry all in ones which are the closest to convenience you can get in the real nappy world which last him a day. So I do the last nappy change before bed and then they all go in the wash then the dryer and are ready for morning. I'm going to have to extend my nappy stash for spring/summer when I intend to use the washing line to dry them - thus saving even more money!

I know some people would also argue that using reusable nappies is no different to using disposable in the long run for the environment and so has no real benefit. I would question this research. Proctor and Gamble are the international, big-dog, multi-million company behind Pampers and a whole range of other house hold products. Reusable nappies have really started to take off over the past few years and I'd wager that they are ploughing funds into any report that claims that disposable nappies are just as ethical and environmentally sound as real cloth nappies. Let's not forget also that for the past four years a report continues to reveal Proctor and Gamble (specifically Pampers) are in the top 50 UK least ethical brands which include research on carbon emissions, child labour, corporate corruption, environmental impact, ethical accreditation, fair and unfair trade, human rights abuse, nuclear power, political donations, rainforest timber and third world debt.

I leave you with Abel in his Bambooty:

Arrival

Abel Reuben Graham-Dean has arrived! As you can imagine for the past couple of months I've had my hands full with baby, poo, milk, blood, sweat and tears so it's taken a while to finally get round to posting on my blog again. A big plus is that I finally have a keyboard and mouse again so I can view and participate in the world wide web without having to do it through a rubbish old phone or ipad app.

We'll start with my experience as a new mum: the delivery. I feel there is an inconsistency between what the media and, indeed, NHS literature, various sources of information provided etc and reality. The main thread of advice repeated being "don't panic", "don't be scared", "if the pain was that bad no one would have babies". I found this to be all completely false. It was so bad I had post traumatic stress. It was all I could talk about for two weeks. Every non-parent visitor I had got the instruction to never have children and that the information out there is all lies. The bottom line is nothing can prepare you. Even me typing this and you reading it is pointless as every experience is different and so maybe that is why the antenatal care is minimal and in no way prepares you.

 Even the post natal care left much to be desired. My stitches (both internal and external) got infected even though I followed all advice and procedures to keep them clean. Not to mention swallowed all the drugs they could fill me up with as I left the hospital, asking if  I could perhaps stay one more night. My request was questioned and I explained that I couldn't really walk or stand up or sit down for too long. All I could do was lay down. Was I really in a fit state to take care of a newborn if all I could do was lie down? I was told that I was young (questionable, I'm twenty-nine and what that has to do with post natal recovery I don't know) and that I would find it easier once I was home. I was bed bound for a month. I was very ill. My mum had to stay over at the weekends to help out. When she wasn't there it was horrible being on my own and dealing with a newborn when it hurt so much to a) sit up to breastfeed and b) breastfeed. The act of breastfeeding to begin with is like someone actually biting off your nipple. This lasted for two weeks. During this time my nipples were cracked and bleeding. I cried every time I fed him. After two weeks the pain suddenly goes as if the baby has bitten through all my nerve endings so there's nothing left to feel. 

My birth plan of a home water birth with little intervention went straight out the window by the way. As for the birth plan itself that you are encouraged to write out as a guideline for the midwives to follow is not even asked for by anyone and so I can only assume is to put the mother's mind at rest whilst pregnant, giving her false hope that she will have some degree of control during the birth.

I don't know whether my experience is an uncommon one. A friend of mine who had her baby two days earlier was back to playing roller derby within a month, felt no pain breast feeding etc. My mum told me it took her six months before her body felt normal again. I'm guessing that is when she stopped breastfeeding.

Whinge whinge whinge moan moan moan! But what about the good stuff? Isn't being a mum the best job in the world? Yes it is. It is exactly that - a job but one you can never get sacked from and one you actually care about. You get so much satisfaction it really is amazing. Words really can't describe how you feel as the doctor splats your newborn on to your belly for the first time, he looked up at me and I melted. He is the only man in my life that will ever matter to me. And with that...here is a picture of him in a bear suit I got him for Christmas.

Third Trimester Woes

Over the past week my sinus problems (common in pregnancy) have gone from permanent sniffle to full blown cold complete with asthma and difficulty breathing mainly because the baby is pushing everything upwards and squashing my lungs. 

Not being able to breathe freely makes me panic, making it worse. The thought I have to continue on like this for another 9 weeks and that's if the baby's on time makes me depressed I have to live with such discomfort for so long. Everything hurts. Dressing myself hurts. Walking hurts, sitting hurts, laying down hurts, standing hurts, showering hurts, eating hurts. I am literally in discomfort 24/7. Added to that the fact I have a cold, sneezing hurts, blowing my nose hurts even breathing in hurts. I'm taking this laundry list of complaints to my new midwife (yes, new - the other one decided to transfer to bonny Scotland) in a couple days. 

As I'm only 31 weeks people don't take me seriously when I say it hurts, thinking it can't be that bad as I still have so long to go. It really is that bad. To the point where I'm welcoming labour with open arms just to get this pregnancy over and done with. 

Bumps n Brusies

At 30 weeks my centre of gravity has changed meaning I've fallen over twice recently. No damage to the bump but still - this sucks especially when I'm trying to sort my house out which I've recently moved into within the last 2 months. If I lose my footing and fall down I then have to do nothing for the rest of the day and then try again to finish what I was trying to do the next day. Since the falls my family who live close by have been more forthcoming with helping me. I've also been showing signs of stress, the house needs to be sorted before this baby comes otherwise I will not be allowed to have a home birth. This presents a deadline and with this deadline steadily approaching I am getting frustrated.

 If I wasn't in the latter stage of pregnancy I would have got all this stuff done weeks ago. With heavy boxes and bags to lift, clothing to sort through and hang up, furniture to move etc. I'm feeling helpless. I've been told the front room is going to be changed around so I shouldn't do anything to it. When exactly this will occur is unknown. The three big boxes of CDs and DVDs which are not mine are still in the dining room needing to be sorted. The clothes which are not mine and were a huge pile in the bedroom have been sorted, hung up and put away. This is all I am doing with items that are not mine. The boxes if nothing have been done with them I will instruct my sister to move them to the "music" room which currently has a drum kit in it which hasn't been touched. The spare room which will be the nursery still has a few bags and boxes of my belongings in there also needing to be sorted through plus a bed which needs to be put up. Then after all this I need to sort through my stuff for eBay/charity which is a lot and at the moment it's all on top of a wardrobe which is too high for me to reach safely, so I'll have to ask someone to help me with that. Then I have to wash and sort through all the baby clothes, create a birthing plan and pack a hospital bag incase things don't go to plan. 

So quite a tall order to fill when you've also just got kittens (not my idea) who need a litter box changing daily. Extra house work is exactly what I need right now. With my work ending for maternity leave hopefully means I can concentrate on it all and hopefully get it done within the next 10 weeks I have left. However with an ever increasing huge weight to carry around all the time (feels like carrying a rucksack of stuff on your front) which is creating excruciating back pain and reuniting me with my childhood friend, asthma, plus wanting to sleep all the time - I am seriously beginning to have my doubts. 

Dependency on other people sucks. You know they have their own life and have better things to be doing than to be helping you out. Plus it takes planning to have them round takes time. I want to be able to do things when I want not have to wait till someone's in the house with me. 

Dave

The naming process was supposed to be quite simple. After all I had been thinking about my children's names since I was a child myself. So why was I now finding it so difficult? Mainly because the father to be hates all the names I like. The father to be also wants his name to be the baby's surname but grants me the middle name of my choosing. Months have gone by where I have suggested names and he either rejects them completely or thinks they're "alright" or "not bad", not completely won over by any name. 

People have told me never to discuss names with the family but when your partner is so unwilling to talk about names, never coming up with any suggestions himself I find it hard to stick to this rule. Then, of course, I started discussing names on public forums and found the usual repusled reaction to my taste in names. Are my names really that bad? Or is it everyone else who is wrong? Is it wrong to want something a bit different for your child? 

My mum wanted something different for me. I got bullied but who wasn't? Plus i wasn't just bullied for my name, I was bullied because my hair was longer than average and for being too thick for the top set of English yet too swatty for the bottom set of French and Maths, and, of course, I got bullied for being ugly. I'm not a doctor or someone of high importance but if I had the brain power and career drive I'm sure I would be no matter what my name is. 

I've come to the point now where I'm exhausted with it and am resigning to the fact that my child will probably be named something I don't initially like. I'll carry him for 9 months (which is unpleasant) give birth to him (which - guess what - will also be unpleasent not to mention ruining my body for the rest of my life) and then, after all that shit, have to name him Dave. The pressure is too much. And please don't comment on this saying I can name my child what I want because I really can't without someone saying they hate it or smile to my face then bitch about it to someone else.